Top five riskiest partners

ACTIVITY

If sitting at home on the couch and watching True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries and Dexter has taught us anything, it’s that dating charismatic, overtly attractive but undeniably dangerous people can have some pretty crazy consequences.

Thinking about starting a romantic tryst with someone a little more dangerous than the norm? Have you considered all the risks? Here are the top five to think about:

Vampire

  1. Prepare to be hungry - if your vampy partner goes for your neck in a moment of passion, you’ll probably become one too.
  2. One word – baggage! They’ve already been in tonnes of relationships during their 500 plus year life, which means you’re probably not “the one”.
  3. Say goodbye to a good night’s sleep what with them up and about during the wee hours.
  4. Your sunscreen costs will absolutely skyrocket.
  5. They’ll always beat you in an argument simply by hypnotising you with their thrall.

Werewolf

  1. It’s bad enough waking up next to a cat coughing up a hairball. But these guys…
  2. If they’re dreaming of chasing rabbits in their dreams, watch out, you might end up nibbled on.
  3. Super jittery around that time of the month (the full moon!)
  4. Forget about using the silver cutlery, it’ll be plastic knives and forks from here on in.
  5. A bit on the messy side, particularly when it comes to “marking their territory”.

Daredevil

  1. Mud tracks on the carpet where they decided to try some wheelies on the bike.
  2. Your bed sheets will keep disappearing to make capes.
  3. They’ll tip over all your furniture to make obstacle courses.
  4. Your romantic candlelight dinners will involve flamethrowers.
  5. Potentially a very short-term relationship.

Axe Murderer

  1. Can get a little obsessive over their privacy.
  2. You can never find the kitchen knives when it comes time to carve the roast.
  3. Your friends keep disappearing.
  4. You can never be sure if they’re telling the truth or coming up with a new cover story.
  5. Your relationship will go long-distance once they’re put away for life.

Ghost

  1. It feels like they’re never really there for you.
  2. Clay – lots and lots of clay.
  3. Crossing the streams becomes very dangerous.
  4. You never know when they’re watching.
  5. Your heating bills will soar through the roof.